The straight dope:

Thursday 9:20am: Arrive Heathrow airport

• Me
• Lots of other people

Thursday 12:55pm: Depart Kings Cross railway station

• Me
• Lots of other people

Thursday 6:42pm: Arrive Glasgow Central railway station

• Me
• Lots of other people

So, I know the con recommends taking a coach from Heathrow to Watford Junction and taking the train from there. I’m sure it’s faster, less of a pain in the ass, etc. But I couldn’t find a site that would actually book and sell me the ticket — Virgin Rail would book me direct from Terminal 3 to Anderston, but wouldn’t actually mail it to the States, while National Rail (the all-companies booking service) would intermittently refuse to even admit there was such a timetable. Whereas Rail Europe (which I ended up using) would admit to the existence of London and Glasgow, but not to anything more local.

So: Heathrow to Paddington to Kings Cross to Edinburgh to Glasgow, at a cost of 90 minutes to my arrival time, and a certain amount of aggravation on both ends, but with service that actually works, and at a savings of $140 (on a first-class ticket) over Virgin and National Rail. Which ought to cover the Heathrow Express and a Zone 1 tube fare, at least.

Friday 2:00pm: Kaffeeklatsch (1.5 hrs)

• Me
• Stanley Schmidt
• Lars-Olov Strandberg
• Robert Vogel

I’m guessing most of the folks who show up will be there to try to figure out what they need to do to sell something to Stan Schmidt. (Hey, maybe I should try to find that out, too. I haven’t even submitted anything to Analog in at least two or three years.)

Saturday 12:00 noon: New Writers & the Campbell

• Jay Lake
• Me
• Chris Roberson
• Stanley Schmidt (M)
• Steph Swainston

What is the John W. Campbell Best New Writer Award and what has it meant to these finalists and winners? Learn where these writers started and where they've gone since.

Jay, I love you, man, but if this turns into “How the Hugo Awards Ruined My Life” I’m gonna have to kick your ass. I’m just sayin’.

Also Saturday 12:00 noon: Dealers’ room

• Me
• Lots of actual dealers

I’m supposed to man a table in the dealers’ room for the Science Fiction Foundation, who have kindly agreed to let me pimp my books. Only at the moment I’m cross-scheduled against the Campbell panel. I’ll definitely be manning the table at some point, I’m just not sure when.

Sunday 12:00 noon (tentatively): Hugo rehearsals

• Me
• Lots of people who are not me, many of whom are nominated for actual Hugos rather than pseudo- or quasi-Hugos

Presumably this is my chance to stand in front of a mirror practicing how to say “Fuck — I got a Hugo not-a-Hugo.”

Sunday 6ish: Pre-Hugo reception

• Me
• Lots of people who are not me, many of whom are nominated for actual Hugos rather than pseudo- or quasi-Hugos

And this is my chance to try to make an impression on my fellow nominees as a nervous wreck, rather than as a drunk (see below).

Sunday 8:00pm: Hugo ceremony

• Me
• Lots of people who are not me, many of whom are nominated for actual Hugos rather than pseudo- or quasi-Hugos

Nap time for the rest of you.

Monday 12:00pm (?): Hugo losers’ party

• Me
• Lots of people who are not me, many of whom have just won or lost actual Hugos rather than pseudo- or quasi-Hugos

Hangover city.

Monday 12:00pm: Depart Glasgow Central railway station

• Me
• Lots of other people

Monday 5:42pm: Arrive London Kings Cross railway station

• Me
• Lots of other people

Monday 6:00pm: Drop bags off at Paddington station

• Me
• Lots of other people

Or maybe head straight out to Heathrow and my hotel, depending on whether anyone’s around in London for dinner.

Monday 9:00pm: Check into Radisson Edwardian Heathrow

• Me
• Lots of other people

Last chance to enjoy jet lag.

Tuesday 11:55am: Depart Heathrow airport

• Me
• Lots of other people