© 2003-2006 David Moles

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I’m trying

12 o'clock, February 5, 2004

Man, I so know where Wil Wheaton is at with this:

I sit here and drink my coffee, which is getting cold and bitter (how appropriate). A Starbucks guy runs a sweeper across the floor around me, and beneath my feet.

“Are you a writer?” he asks.

“I hope so,” I tell him. He sort of recoils from me, and I feel bad. It’s not his fault that I haven’t written anything in over a week. It’s not his fault my sweet and kind 12 year-old stepson has been replaced with a surly, disrespectful podperson. It’s not his fault that this couple’s wonderful, supernova passion for each other is what I want and lack more than anything else on earth. Maybe it’s the grey sky, the cold February day, or Stinky stinking up my chair . . . but I can’t feel passion for anything these days. I am a man in his thirties, snapping at a boy in his twenties, because I used to be him.

“I mean . . . I’m trying. I’ve done some good stuff in the past, but right now I’m in a bit of a rut.” I say.

“Oh, well, I hope you find your way out,” he says, kindly. No harm, no foul.

Also, I was Tweed Jacket. Only it was somewhere else. And It would have been a notebook, not a crossworld puzzle.

Comments

Better to be Tweed Jacket than Stinky.

—— Jon, 3:10 PM, Thursday, February 5, 2004

(in response to the writer being asked his profession) My #1 question I hate is: "What's your major?"

When I say English, the followup question is always what will I do with it?

Of course I have my realistic answers ready: 1.Go into editing for a magazine, newspaper, publishing company, or business. 2. Go on to get my PhD and become a professor. 3. Advertising 4. Freelance Writing. 4. A mixture of all of the above.

But I know the watchful observer who asks the question can see that foolish glint in my eye telling them that I have the ridiculous, hidden dream that I'll be a full-time fiction writer some day.

I think I just need to develop the writer's version of a poker face.

—— Simon Owens, 1:33 PM, Saturday, February 7, 2004

Tell them you plan to die of tuberculosis in a garret in Rome, like Keats.

If they know enough to object that to follow Keats you ought to be in pre-med, not English, then you can admit that you want to be a writer.

—— David Moles, 8:18 PM, Saturday, February 7, 2004